Energies are the Invisible Key to Fulfilling Relationships

Donna & David teaching the
Energies of Love in 2004

To improve your relationships, understanding the psychology of relationships will help - dynamics such as the way we tend to project unresolved issues with our mother or father onto our wife or husband are certainly important.  But, understanding the energy or relationship can help in ways that are both more fundamental and more immediate!

The union of energies determines the way you communicate, the way you fight, the way you love, and the way you want to be loved.  There are four energetic or sensory styles at play in all kinds of relationships.

The Four Sensory System Stress Modes

Interpersonal Perils of Each Style

Visual Style

• Projects Own Vision on the Others
• Disappointed When Other Doesn't Fulfill The Vision
• Criticizes and Judges Other
• Blames the Partner
• Dismisses the Partner
• "Look at me when I talk to you!"
• Relentless, Must Win
• Easily Moves to Anger
• Motto: "You're Wrong!"

Tonal Style

• "Hears" Between the Lines
• Exasperation at Not Feeling Heard
• Hears Inner Dialogue Louder Than Partner's Voice
• Interprets, Analyzes, & Judges Everything
• Small Specs of Behavior May Be Exaggerated into Tremendous Meaning
• Hurt More by Other's Tone of Voice Than by the Actual Words
• Judges Self, Hard on Self
• Absorbed in Own World
• Withdraws, Falsely Feeling Rejected
• Motto: "I'm Angry at You for Making Me Wrong."

Digital Style

• Computer-Like, the Classic Mr. Spock
• Cut Off From Body, Detached
• Cut Off From Partner
• Too Calm, Cool, and Collected
• Logical, Rational, Reasonable
• No Clue That There is a Problem
• Orderly, Structured, Programmed
• Tune Out the Others' Truth
• Can't Be Reached with Feelings, Exasperating
• Motto: "I'm Right!"

Kinesthetic Style

• Feelings Are Facts, Logic Is Suspect
• Overly Compassionate
• Compulsive Enablers
• Undiscerning
• Focus on What's Right
• Finally Explodes or Leaves
• Motto: "I Don't Want You To Feel Wrong"

Understanding your and your partner's sensory type is the energetic basis for improving relationships!